• AJ

Who Are You Now?

Was just watching a Joe Rogan podcast with Dave Chapelle as guest (he's still a deep muh fka) and they were talking about how the pandemic has really changed the fine print of our social contract. It's obvious there's a percent of the population who is not down with being told what you can and can't do now, who you can see and how many and basically just how to live life nowadays. I get it. There's a lot to just shake your head at and exhale and just say...what....tha....fuckisgoinonrightnow?

Politics, science and theories aside for a is quite interesting how we've all changed though huh? I took an inward look at my feelings and outward perspective of my actions nowadays because of covid...I wonder if any of y'all can relate?

Masks - At first I was like...oh gawd I look stupid with this damn thing. This don't work. It's silly. I still question the effectiveness but I don't feel as stupid anymore as EVEYRONE's got em on. My mentality has changed. Before I leave for work I sing an Adam Sandler song...Phone Wallet Keys...but now I add Mask. I feel unity with everyone wearing. I feel sadness not seeing peoples full faces. I work harder to make my eyes smile and speak louder so people can hear my expressions.

Attitude Change On Masks = Major change. I went from feeling like a freak to accepting it as a norm and adjusting my behaviours.

Physical Distancing - Hugging still does happen and I'm not adverse to it but I won't initiate and put someone else in an uncomfortable position. The standard Filipino/Spanish greeting of kissing on the cheek is a no go right now. It is weird to intentionally keep distance with people but I actually always liked some distance especially when I'm eating....goodbye and good riddance to close talkers! That's a blessing in my opinion. One time back in high school, a girl named Jennifer (damn I forgot her last name but i think it was Duncan?) was chatting to me face to face and she had a cold but I didn't care cuz I liked her....anyway, as she was talking and as I was standing in front of her with my mouth a bit open, a shot of her spit flew out and landed on my tongue. I liked her so I didn't say anything and didn't want her to be embarrassed so I just swallowed that shit. Anyway, long story long, no more than a few hours later I got sick with fever. Since then, I've stayed a distance from close talkers. I kind of enjoy the distance from most people to be honest.

Attitude Change On Social Distancing = Minor change. I appreciate the space.

Social Bubbles - Household Limits - Now this one is bullshit. I miss my mom and my family outside of my home. I do not think there is a way to really have a legitimate social bubble. I don't understand the math behind the number limits. It’s all just so arbitrary. I just don't see how this would effectively help anyone.

Attitude Change on Social Bubbles = Thought they were wack before, still see no value.

Washing Hands - Keeping My (Karaoke) Equipment Clean - Growing up in a house of nurses and hearing of things they dealt with ongoing like C Difficile and H1 and etc I was always conscious of sanitization but definitely not at this level. This is a good change. Aside from allergies, my family and I have not been sick this whole year so far *knock wood.* I’m sure the kids were sick an average of 3-5 times a year, pre pandemic. I strip off all my clothes in my laundry room and shower after every time I go out for more than an hour. Side note, my (non karaoke) equipment has always been clean.

Attitude Change On Sanitization = This is a good thing personally and in public, I think.

Friends? Acquaintances? - The pandemic for me really went through phases from a social aspect. I recall early on more virtual meet ups online or on zoom...friends and new acquaintances made extra effort to stay in touch as did I with the months rolled on, you notice more distance with the new friends and acquaintances and a steady pull towards more of your family and close ones. It’s not a knock on anyone...but out of sight out of mind is real. You really got to test who is in your main circle right now during this pandemic.

Attitude Change On Friendships and Acquaintances = While it is cool to see who’s stayed on as a player in your life, it is sad to become spectators in others. Can’t develop or grow on new friendships with the physical social aspect being taken away.

Overall, this time has truly been a series of ebbs and flows. Some days are better than others, some times remind us of the old times and other times are brand new and not overly exciting. It’s a time of internal growth and change whether we realize or not. As Chapelle said at the Joe Rogan interview “...we are stuck at home with our choices...” Hope you’re all safe and happy with your choices right now.


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